Prison Penpals VIII

Antezz Dieffenderfe (rape)

What's up All. My name is Antezz Dieffenderfe. I'm 22, B-Day July 4. I'm from Knoxville, TN so first off, I made a big mistake 16 that I have to live with for the rest of my life, yeah, rape, besides that, I'm a good man, down to earth, funny, and business minded. So I love white girls. I'm looking for woman to write this time. So we can ride out when I get out. I'm looking for someone between 21-29. Well till then, keep your head up. Please send pics. :-)

Google Antezz and you'll find, first, that his first name is spelled with just one "z." Secondly, you'll see that his crime was that between November 2007 and January 2008 he had incestuous sex multiple times with a family member whom he knew was "mentally defective and physically helpless." 

Antezz was evidently a standout defensive end for his high school in Knoxville, Tennessee. He also wrestled and ran track. As you can see from the picture above, he has the mesomorphic build of a natural athlete. He evidently has the sex drive of one too. You have to be pretty driven to have sex with someone who is in a semi-vegetative state. 

Antezz points out that he loves white girls. But if he had sex with a family member, he must like black girls too. 

Christopher Flake

I am a 40-year-old heterosexual single male at Lois Deberry special needs facility in Nashville,TN.
I have been incarcerated for the past fifteen years and feel lonely and disconnected from the rest of the world. I am a sensitive, caring and kind person who is seeking a female penpal who can relate to me and my circumstances.....Hope to hear from you soon. 

I was initially drawn to Flake's ad simply because I thought he looked evil. He also had that usual telltale sign of sociopathy, talking about what a "sensitive, caring and kind person" he is.

Flake didn't list his crime, but did say in his ad that he was serving a life sentence. That usually means murder of some sort, and when I looked him up, sure enough, he had shot two people to death. He didn't seem to have any strong motive for his crime, which makes it sound even more sociopathic.

Flake had a gambling problem, which often spells sociopathy (most people with the usual level of inhibitions don't become "addicted" to something which isn't really all that addictive). And he was an alcoholic and drug addict, things a sociopath is more likely to become. 

Finally, it sounds as if Flake pretended to be crazy in order to mount an insanity defense. Feigning schizophrenia has all the hallmarks of sociopathy: it is dishonest, it is a play for sympathy, and you only do it when you've done something dastardly for which you're trying to avoid blame. The jury saw through his insanity defense, hence the life sentence. 

Another striking thing that came out during Flake's trial (linked above) was that he feared homosexuals, since he was somewhat confused about his own sexual identity. And he hated one of his victims since the victim seemed effeminate and touched him. Note the ad above: "I am a 40-year-old heterosexual single male..."

Most heterosexual single males don't feel obliged to point their sexuality, especially if they already said they want to correspond with women. Everything about Flake seems to be a lie, but that is often the case with sociopaths. 

John Fratus (assault with a gun)

I am looking for the woman of my dreams. I keep dreaming about you. In my dreams we are together spending time, chillin, together, kissing, hugging, getting freaky, just being with you spending time just to be with you it feels so good like heaven ecstacy words can't describe the way you make me feel when I'm with you just being in your presence it feels so real. It's like a high I never want this feeling to stop. I never want this dream to end then "BOOM"!! I wake up in a cold dark lonely prison cell all by myself...

I am a 32-year-old White and Puerto Rican young man in California prison for allegedly shooting somebody with a gun but he didn't die, it's only assault....I've been in prison for 7 1/2 years. I have a real good chance of getting out on my appeal in the near future. I'm hoping to find a female from California who will be close enough to visit. I can always try to get a transfer closer to you. We can do a lot on visits.

I'm single, I'm sincere, honest, good personality, love to have fun, attractive, athletic, good lover, good friend to have. I can rap, sing, dance....

Fratus doesn't pretend to be romantic, he just wants a woman to get freaky with. But he does set up some pretty high expectations for this woman of his dreams. (Wouldn't a woman find that a bit intimidating?) 

It's not clear why Fratus wrote "allegedly" in his ad: if he didn't shoot anybody, why would he bother to add that the guy didn't die?

In 2005, Fratus was convicted of firing into an inhabited residence, and assault with a firearm. He has also been convicted twice of assaulting a peace officer. He was also accused, back in 2006, of having head butted an officer who was escorting him to an exercise yard, though he denies that. Fratus claimed that the officers escorting him just wanted an excuse to beat him up since he had been written up at his previous prison for masturbating in front of female officers. Fratus may have been telling the truth there; another prisoner corroborated his account of the incident. 

What Fratus doesn't deny is masturbating in front of the female officers. You hear of prisoners who do this every now and then, and it always strikes me as the height of uninhibited degeneracy. In any case, if Fratus is willing to do that, he certainly isn't kidding about how "we can get a lot done on visits." 

Verdict: probably a sociopath, given his completely uninhibited, impulsive nature and his talk of how he is "sincere, honest, [and has a] good personality."

Christopher Hafford (sexual assault/murder)

Hafford didn't include any copy with his ad, just an address, but he is interesting for two reasons. First, his pictures shows him posing with two poodles and a Cairn Terrier. He's cuddling the Cairn, evidently to show what a nice, affectionate fellow he is.

Hafford listed "women" as his desired pen pals. But if you look him up, you'll see that he is in for having murdered Theresa Rafferty in a five minute attack during which he used a knife, shovel, and ice chopper to inflict more than 60 wounds on her. 

His defense, if you can call it that, was that he suffered from "sexual sadism," which gave him violent, erotic urges over which he had little control. Given this, what woman in her right mind would want to be his penpal?

A lot of heart

I saw Zsa Zsa Gabor's name recently and was reminded of the post I wrote about her back in August of 2010. At the time I wrote that post, I thought she was about to die.

But she is still alive at age 95, after all those health problems and the amputated leg. She must have a very strong heart.

Is that where the expression, "a lot of heart" comes from? "Heart" is a metaphor for courage, but perhaps it's not an even better one for energy and vigor. After all, whenever I get scared, my heart starts to beat more rapidly -- which is hardly a metaphor for courage. But it is in fact an adaptive "fight or flight" response.

Every now and then, I read the obituary of someone who dies at a very advanced age. It occurs to me that that person must have had a strong ticker. I then look at their lives and accomplishments and "see" a lot of vitality reflected there.

Of course, that may just be a matter of perception. You can look at Zsa Zsa's life, with those nine husbands, and see the resume of a woman with a lot of energy. Or you can just see someone with a need for attention.

Then again, maybe drama queens are drama queens simply because they have excess energy to work off. This isn't a politically correct thought, but I often think that if you gave some of these drama queens six orgasms in a row, it would drain the histrionics right out of them.

For a while, at least.

Zsa Zsa evidently still has a little bit of drama left, which is a testament to her vitality.

Murder victims' ages

The law draws distinctions between different forms of homicides, from accidents to negligent manslaughter to murders of passion to premeditated murder.

But one thing the law does not make distinctions between is the age of the victims. Manslaughter is manslaughter, and murder one is murder one, no matter the age of the victim.

There's something about this that doesn't seem quite right. The reason the nation was so horrified about the recent killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School was partly the number of victims, but even more, the age of the victims.

Part of what is so horrific about slaughtering innocent five and six year olds is that they are so defenseless. But a large part of it is that they haven't even gotten a chance to live their lives yet.

If someone murders me, my last thought -- in case I am unable to return the favor -- will be that I want him to fry. But my death will simply not be that tragic. At age 58, unlike those elementary school students, I've already lived most of my natural span.

Ditto for any 58-year-old. He's already gotten to go through puberty and discover how magical girls can be. He's gotten whatever satisfaction is to be gotten from an athletic career. He's had an opportunity to marvel at art, literature, science, etc. He's gotten a sense of human history, and the chance to understand -- in a limited way -- what he was part of. He's had his shot at romance. Whatever career he was going to have, he's had. And most importantly, he may have gotten to experience the joy of children of his own.

So if you kill a sixty-year-old, you're robbing him of his "golden years," a euphemism for a couple of low vitality decades. Kill a child and you're stealing far, far more.

The families of 9/11 victims were compensated according to how much the dead person could have been expected to earn over their lifetimes. I'm not sure I agree with that approach.

But if that compensation should vary, then certainly the severity of the legal penalty should vary according to the age of murder victims.

Room Tour: Gypsy Soul Interiors Holiday Home

We're in full Christmas mode today! If you celebrate Christmas too, I hope it's a lovely day for you and your family! 

My friend Kristen Dowd from Gypsy Soul Interiors in Dallas (who shared projects with us here, here and here) has decorated her home so beautifully for the holidays and I thought you'd like to see it too before the big day has come and gone. So much inspiration everywhere! Also, in addition to doing online interior design consultations, Kristen is a talented artist. She is offering 15% off custom paintings for LGN readers (just email her for details). This is one of her paintings below.


Your home is lovely! What a transformation! Will you tell me about how much of the work was DIY and how much was contracted out? 

We bought the home in 2009 and absolutely loved the layout. The area of town we live in is filled with amazing sprawling ranches that were built in the early seventies. Lucky for us, a builder had recently completely renovated the home and had taken out nearly every wall in the living area. Our kitchen is open to the dining room, entry, living area, breakfast area and bar. At the time we had a 1 year old, and open living is so easy with little ones. We now have a 5 year old and a 7 month old and I am still loving the floor plan. 

Here's the before-we-moved-in shot:

The flip side of the coin was that said builder had a completely opposite aesthetic taste than I did. I've always said that I think the theme before we started putting our mark on the home was "Cracker Barrel meets Olive Garden" (no offense to either restaurant). So it was rustic and Tuscan at the same time, two of my least favorite design styles. 

Check out the vine on the hood. Nice!

The changes weve made really look extensive, but the beauty is, they really were not extensive at all. Literally, all we did was paint, change out tile and take some doors off the kitchen cabinets! It is really amazing what paint can do. I'd love to say that we did the work, but alas, I know my strengths and weaknesses and painting falls in the "weakness" category. I also know that you have to be patient when painting kitchen cabinets, and anyone who knows me knows patience is not one of my virtues. 

As far as the paint colors, I literally painted every square inch of the living area, including trim and kitchen cabinets, "Simply White" by Benjamin Moore. I love the way white modernizes a room. I narrowed the initial choices of white down to 3 colors, White Dove (too grey), Mascarpone (too yellow) and Simply White. Simply White worked best for us, but I love White Dove and Mascarpone too, it all depends on the lighting in your home. The center island and center island cabinets are "Porpoise" from Sherwin Williams. The hardware is from Horton Brasses. 

The tile is bevelled subway tile from Floor and Decor laid in a herringbone pattern. The tile is so so so reasonable! My total for tile was less than $60. The herringbone pattern is what really gives it impact. We kept the granite because frankly, it was not in the budget to replace. Check out the vent hood. Hooray! No more carved vine.

I am crazy about the breakfast nook right off your kitchen. Tell me a little bit about the pieces you have in here and the projects you've done.

Sure! The chandelier is Horchow, the table was found on Craigslist, the chairs are also from Craigslist, the rug is Ikea and the Christmas trees are Homegoods. A huge score in this room and actually throughout the back of my house are the curtain panels. They are lined faux dupioni silk panels from JCPenneys, found on clearance for $8 a panel!

The pantry in the breakfast room is an situated awkwardly on the wall. I could have painted it Simply White, like the walls, but when I saw Caitlin Wilsons chalkboard wall I knew I was going to copy her! And I love how it turned out!

If you look closely, you will notice the hardware pulls are actually pewter longhorns! A playful ode to the great state of Texas :) 

I am using the pantry wall as a gallery wall of sorts. I am a folk art collector, and being from Montgomery, Alabama, love Mose T's work. The pink man is by Mose T and the Santa is by his daughter Annie T. The lady in turquoise is just a fabulous portrait I picked up at the White Elephant in Dallas. 

I love that your Christmas decorations are colorful and modern. Where do you shop for holiday decor? 

I joke that many of our Christmas decorations are actually stolen goods. I probably shouldn't joke, because it may be true. When we were first married and lived in Atlanta, we lived in a "transitional" neighborhood. One day, I was heading to the thrift store in a sort of sketchy shopping center and there was a large unmarked 18 wheeler with a handwritten sign "Christmas Decorations" on the side. Naturally, I was curious, and ended up spending maybe $75 on enough decorations to fill two car loads. Something was odd, but I was still thrilled at my haul. I brought my husband back later that evening, and Ben was hysterically laughing and explained that this "pop up shop" was actually a stolen shipping crate. Oh well, lesson learned, but I did score some great decorations. Everything else in our home is from Homegoods or Target.

We do not stick to a certain color scheme for holiday decorating but stick to a high "sparkle" factor which makes the decor look more cohesive.  I am also a fan of grouping like items for more of an impact, like out nutcrackers, metallic Christmas trees and reindeer. I started a collection of snow globes as a child, and Cici, my daughter is also collecting them. We display all of the globes together each Christmas. 

I adore the tree above. See what I mean, we love "Sparkly!"Tree is from Dillards, Peace Sign on top is from Homegoods, Cabinet is from Montgomery Antiques in Montgomery, Alabama , Mirror is from Horchow Finale, wreath is part of my "Stolen Goods" Christmas decor. 

Where are you favorite places to shop? What's been your favorite find so far? 

My favorite place to shop is Scout Design Studio, at 155 Howell Street in the Dallas' Design District. Scout is a 15,000 square foot warehouse of affordable vintage finds. My business partner Grace and I also sell our pieces from Scouts warehouse. Other faves include Salvation Army, Horchow Finale and Antiques Moderne in Dallas. My best find ever has to be the giant faux bois armoire that hides my husbands monstrosity of a television. You can see the armoire in this picture (this was before we painted).

Tell me a little bit about your floors.

That is a loaded question. I love these floors so much. They are a beautiful 2 inch handscraped oak with a tiger finish. I had no idea what a "tiger" finish was until we had a contractor come quote laying these floors in the bedroom area of the home. It is a fantastic look, as the stain almost resembles a tigers stripes. We currently have carpet (yuck) in the bedrooms and wanted the wood to continue in each room. Well apparently, handscraped wood floors with a tiger finish are $16/square foot at minimum! Gulp... Big Gulp... cant afford that :( We are brainstorming plan B. Plan B may just be to wait until we can afford so the home will be cohesive. The thought of a mismatched floor tortures me to no end. 

Let's walk through the rest of your living spaces. Your home is such a fun mix of vintage and new. I love hearing about where you source your finds.

Here above, I framed Cici's artwork in a couple IKEA frames. The rug is from Montgomery Antiques in Montgomery, Alabama.

Here's a before shot of our bar area.

I think the white paint really helps to hightlight the bar. To decorate the bar area for Christmas, I displayed our snow globes in with our decanter collection and wrapped a table runner from Walmart around the ikat pillow.  The "Texas" print is from Homegoods, the lucite stool is from White Elephant, the blue bench is from Homegoods and so is the pillow. The large canvas of my daughter Cici was printed at Canvas on Demand and the light fixture was purchased at

Here are more of those JC Penney faux silk curtains hanging in our living room.

And in our entry I hung a mirror from Craigslist over my Great grandfather's painting desk (how awesome, right?!) The lamps were also found on Craigslist. The lucite chair is from Amazon and the pillow is from Fabricadabra. The silver wreath is Target. 

Kristen, I'm loving your dining room, especially the interior color of the hutch. It's a vintage piece, right?

I found the vintage hutch at Salvation Army and painted it! The dining and two accent chairs are from Again and Again. The table is from Rooms To Go (yes, you read that correctly!). 

The brass chandelier is from Bienvenue Antiques in Miramar Beach, FL. And pretty much all the holiday decorations in here are from Homegoods (can you tell I like HG?)

A HUGE thanks to Carrie Smith for the pretty photos and to Kristen. of course, for the lovely home tour! What a gorgeous home, right? 

The Marquesas

I've always had a silly, romantic, almost schoolgirlish yearning for the South Pacific. It's a little embarrassing, but there it is.

There are basically two types of Pacific islands. The first are atolls, which consist of rings of coral surrounding a low-lying, sandy island. These are the type which used to be featured in New Yorker cartoons. (As in, if you were stuck on a desert island with one other person...) The second are the volcanic islands, like Hawaii, or Tahiti, or the Marquesas Islands, which are pictured above and below. These rise straight up out of the sea, and generally have a more forbidding aspect. Sorta like that island in the King Kong movie.
The Marquesas, located halfway between Australia and South America, are not just specks in the sea, but have a combined land area of 405 square miles. This is considerably smaller than the Hawaiian Islands, which are by far the largest in Polynesia and total 10,931 square miles, but is still substantial. (Most people don't realize that the Big Island of Hawaii, after which the state is named, is larger in area than the state of Connecticut.) Rhode Island, by contrast, has a total land area of 1045 square miles. Tahiti totals 403 square miles, but a population of 178,000, compared to the Marquesas' 8000.

This wasn't always the case. Back in 1600, when the Marquesas were first "discovered" by whites, they had a population of roughly 78,000. But the whites who arrived brought their usual gift of smallpox, and by 1900 the population was only 2000. During the 20th century the population gradually rebounded to a little more than 8000.

Hawaii is an incredibly beautiful place. But it's part of the US, and has a population of 1,374,000. It has one of the busiest airports in the world, a huge tourist industry, and a completely bastardized culture. It averages 214 people per square mile, compared to 440 for Tahiti and 20 for the Marquesas.

In all these three places, the air just smells better: bougainvillea, hibiscus, and frangipani all give off distinctly sweet, tropical scent. Any pollution just gets blown offshore. And gentle Trade Winds deliver moist, 78 degree air.
While researching this post I found out that a season of Survivor was shot in the Marquesas a few years ago, which somehow lessens the attractiveness of the place. But not by that much, because it actually underscores the fact that the Marquesas are one of the most remote places on earth. There is simply no place in Hawaii or even Tahiti where they could have shot a show like that.

Part of every Polynesian dream is the idea of leaving one's cares behind. But another traditional part of the dream has been the beautiful native girls. Polynesian women, especially with a little Caucasian admixture, can be beautiful when young. But that window tends to be quite narrow: by the age of 35 or 40, most are obese. A Marquesan woman:
I'm generally not one to be influenced by a woman's wardrobe. But if I saw the Marquesan above in tight Western clothing hanging out in a bar in South Norwalk, I probably wouldn't give her a second look. I might even think, yecch. But in that sarong, with that flower behind her ear, in that Polynesian setting, she evokes dreams of paradise. Silly me.

Realistically, I'll probably die without ever having visited the Marquesas.

Still, it's nice to know such a place still exists.

home for christmas

{Sweater: H&M, Tank: Jcrew, Jeans: Jcrew, Flats: Jcrew, Necklace: Vintage}

We have the absolute privilege of being able to come home for Christmas. The delight of being home for the holidays and seeing family have been the two best Christmas presents a girl could have. 

I hope each of you guys enjoy your families this time a year and have a great time celebrating with one another. 

Merry Christmas!

A Holiday Me

I really didn't think I'd get another post written before Christmas.  Is there any busier time of year?  I mean, it's supposed to be all festive and warm and fuzzy and ensconced in heart warming tradition.  All Norman Rockwell-esque.  But, holiday reality is a tad bit less serene, at least in my world.

Hectic Holidays are more my style.  I mean, I say Happy Holidays and I almost believe it, but most years Hectic overpowers Happy during December at my house.  I don't mean to get all Debbie Downer on you!  I still LOVE me some Christmas time!!  It's just that sitting here in front of my computer screen, pumped full of Tazo high-test Awake tea, fingers flying across the keyboard, with less than a fully-formed idea of what in the hell I'm gonna write about, the first words that transfer from my brain to my blog are usually exactly what I'm feeling in the moment and what I'm feeling this morning is....behind schedule.
Only 3 days until the jolly man that could benefit from a membership with the local Weight Watchers, in his fuzzy red suit, pays a visit to all the homes of the good girls and boys around the world in one miraculous night.  (You'd think with a schedule like that Santa would need to be in better shape.)  Santa is a tad behind in his (her) preparations this year.  OK...every year.

You probably wonder, if I'm that damned busy, why in the hell am I wasting precious minutes sitting on my tuches typing?  That would be an excellent question.  I love your questions!
My answer....this blog is my new Valium, my virtual Xanax, my current sedative of choice and Mama needs a fix!  This blog is NEVER a waste of time.

My last post, It's Always Something, has amassed numerous comments from my detractors, ample support from my faithful readers and a substantial collection of questions, which I mentioned previously that I adore.  All of the comments had merit, except for one or two anonymous ones that should be classified as "hit & run" remarks.  I do not let the chicken-shit writers of those posts dampen my enthusiasm for our conversations in the least.

So, in the spirit of the Holidays, hectic, happy and otherwise, I'm opening this blog to all of you!  I don't mean to make it sound like I'm giving you a present or anything.  I am not nearly so self-absorbed (contrary to what many of those aforementioned detractors believe) to think offering to answer any and all questions posed to be worthy of gift status.  Quite the opposite actually.

You, my dear readers, my travel companions on the Road to Happy, will be giving me a gift.  The gift of time.  You'll decide where this post leads us as we head into 2013.
Let me clarify.  The benefit of requesting all of you to contribute to this post means I didn't have to spend any time thinking about what to share with you today.  Didn't need to come up with any words of advice or pearls of hard earned wisdom. (I have very few of those, so I have to disperse them sparingly)  Or, to put it in the words of some of you that consider this blog to be no more than rehashing the past, I had no need to dredge up harsh details from two years previous and regurgitate it into prose.

We started an amazing interaction in the comments of my last post.  This time, let's bring it!  All issues can be addressed!  No subject is taboo!  I urge you to submit all thoughts and quandaries that you may have considered proposing in the past.  Anybody can ask anything and all of us should feel free to share answers, opinions and ideas even if, and possibly especially if, they challenge the majority.

Dear friends, by submitting your questions and topics for discussion, you are soooo covering my procrastinating patootie!!  Seriously, I am one harried Mama right now.  I gotta get rolling.

I hope all of you are able to find more happy than hectic or melancholy this Christmas, but if you find yourself struggling, come here.  Grab an eggnog, with some spiced rum of course, and be with us.  I feel the love & hope through the screen and I'm sending it all right back!!  Holiday Hope & Hugs!!!

Mark Sanford

Mark Sanford, the former Governor of South Carolina whose political ambitions were sidetracked in 2009 after it was revealed he had an affair with an Argentinian woman, was in the news again yesterday. He is evidently likely to announce that he will run for the Congressional seat vacated by Tim Scott, who was selected by Governor Nikki Haley to replace outgoing Senator Jim DeMint. (All are Republicans.)

Sanford became somewhat of a laughingstock after his affair became public. He had claimed to be on a solo hike on the Appalachian Trail when in fact he was in Argentina visiting his girlfriend, Maria Belen Chapur. The fact that he was Republican of course spurred the media to mock him in any way they could.

With all politicians, the possibility of sociopathy always looms, and I wondered about that after Sanford's lies surfaced. But those suspicions disappeared the moment I saw a clip of his press conference.

There he stood, wearing a sad sack expression, seeming genuinely contrite, telling the world that Chapur was his "soulmate." Sanford was 49 when he said that.

Anybody who believes in the concept of a "soulmate," especially at that age, is a sap. And sappiness and sociopathy simply don't go together.

Sociopaths are the opposite of sappy.

Maybe the media was right to mock Sanford, but at least he's not a sociopath, which is more than can be said for a lot of politicians.


Suzy Favor-Hamilton admitted yesterday that she had worked as a $600 an hour prostitute in Vegas recently. She had been a very prominent runner for a long time, making three successive Olympic teams, from 1992 to 2000.

Favor had several of the classic signs of being a nice girl: she suffered from bulimia, which tends to be a disease of girls who want to be perfect to please their parents. She mostly choked at the Olympics (nice people tend to get nervous and underperform, sociopaths don't). And she was heart-broken when her brother committed suicide (a sociopath wouldn't care that much; and when young people commit suicide, it is often because they feel they're a disappointment to others, another disease of people from nice families).

Working as a pro does not disqualify Favor, in my opinion, from being a decent person: she was honest about what she did, she didn't rip off any of her clients, and she was evidently gracious with them too.

Favor certainly did nothing to disprove the theory that the most attractive women runners are those who run the 800 and 1500, her two events:

I don't really have much to add to the story, other than sound a note of sympathy. This was basically just an excuse to post her picture.

And maybe add that at $600/hour, she was underpricing herself.

"The Word of God"

There are those who believe that the Bible
is the "word of God"
And they will fight you on it.
There are those who believe that the Koran
is the "word of God"
And they will fight you on it.
There are those who believe that the Bhavagad Gita 
  is the "word of God"
and they will fight you on it....
etc. etc. etc.

But here's the Truth
None of these are the "word of God"

They are words put down by Men of good heart
and then edited by men who wish to be as Gods
amongst the humans.

There is however a Word of God
It can't be found in any book...
It is actually found in a Silent Place
In the Heart of every person...
In the Heart of every cell
in every single thing.

Those who have truly heard the "Word of God"
are changed forever.
And never into Judgers, or bigots,or haters...

So if it is the Truth you seek
if you seek the "Word of God"
seek it in the most silent place
seek it in your heart...

And if what you hear leads you to Judge others
you are not hearing the Word of God...
But rather the Word of "Evil".

If the word you hear causes you to feel separate from others
It is not the word of God.
It is the word of Evil.

Those who proclaim to serve the "word of God"
yet cast judgment upon their fellow man...
Are not serving the word of God,
But rather the word of Evil.

Most organized religions do not serve God..

Buried within all religious works
you can find a particle of the Truth..
There are some where you can get instruction on how to find 
"The Truth" within every single thing.

But those that proclaim themselves to be,
"The Word of God"
Are probably best avoided if the Truth is what you really seek.
The problem is, most "Seekers" are not looking for Truth
But rather for agreement with their own narrow views.
Bigots seeking to have their bigotry affirmed. 

If your "word of God" creates judgment of your fellow man...
burn it.
If your "word of God" separates you from others..
burn it.
If it tells you that it is the only "word of God"
burn it.
If it has not brought you to extreme Peace...and Joy,
burn it.
If your "word of God"
has not brought you an Unconditional Love of your Fellow Man,
and everything in your world....
It is a Lie. 

Seek the Truth where it really lies...
In your heart.

We are each a Piece of the Sun
only we've hidden that Light from ourselves,
behind Judgment, and dogma....and Fear...
and blame, and bigotry,and anger...and lust, and hate and Greed....
Get rid of these things and you can KNOW God.  

All the rest is just man made stories with little positive purpose,
and even less manifested Good.   

The Most Dangerous People in the World

Every stone cast
will eventually hit you in the back of the Head.

Every judgment made...
is a judgment Against yourself.



When we Judge another
we are failing to Forgive Ourselves.

What is the Self Blame within you
that causes you to judge "another" ?

Think about that before casting the next stone..

Do Aspies span the full range of morality?

Most people with Aspergers, or with any form of autism, don't shoot up elementary schools the way Adam Lanza did. In fact, most Aspies are harmless dweebs.

So the immediate temptation is to conclude that Adam was not only autistic, he was a sociopath as well.

But most Aspies are so socially inept that they couldn't be manipulative and backstabbing and skillfully dishonest even if they wanted to be. The ones I've known have been sort of pathetic and child-like. They don't understand what makes others tick, have no idea how to banter or joke around, and certainly can't bend others to their will. Most seem almost incapable of lying. And they tend to be the targets of bullies. All of which, in a way, seems to preclude sociopathy.

But it's hard to imagine anything more evil than mowing down a bunch of five and six year olds with an assault rifle. How could you do that without being utterly lacking in conscience? Has any sociopath ever done worse?

One thing Aspies do have in common with narcissists (sociopaths are a subset of narcissists) is that they don't take criticism well: nothing is ever their fault. But whereas sociopaths are adept at coming up with glib excuses, Aspies come up with lame ones. Aspies also have little self-control, and get upset easily. Thus, they are the opposite of cool -- which would also seem to preclude sociopathy.

Lanza also had that weird medical condition where he couldn't feel pain. Given that Aspies always seem to have a hard time imagining people being different from themselves, maybe he had no concept of the pain that he was inflicting on others.

And who knows, maybe you don't even have to be on the autistic spectrum not to be able to imagine what you can't feel. Maybe it's a little like understanding colors when you're blind.

Which puts Lanza a little less in the evil camp, and more in the crazy camp.

From what we've heard so far, it sounds as if Lanza's parents genuinely loved him, which also generally means a child will not be sociopathic. (That's a hard one to measure, though: there are plenty of families which look good from the outside but which produce sociopaths because the parents were only going through the motions.)

It's a bit of a quandary. I's impossible to imagine someone with Aspergers as a functioning sociopath. Yet it's hard to imagine someone with a conscience killing those innocent children.

I just don't know.


Will Barack Obama continue to blame the President from the previous term for all of the country's problems?

Room Tour: Lauren Leonard Interiors

Lauren emailed to share photos of her daughter Ellie's room. I hope it's not too ridiculous for me to be jealous of a six year-old's bedroom, because I totally am. I would swipe that gold + KWID chair from her so fast! :)

Lauren said the John Robshaw fabric on the bed was her starting point but was also her budget-buster (SO worth it I say!), so she had to get creative with the other elements in the room, like framing prints from a $6 calendar and painting the pattern on a simple IKEA rug (here's a similar project).

For all the details on this lovely bedroom, check out Lauren's post.

Thanks for sharing, Lauren! If you'd like to share a space or project with LGN readers, feel free to submit here.