No Runner Left Behind

The Supreme Court deliberations on the Texas affirmative action case bring to mind a terrible injustice which passed with little notice this past summer: At the London Olympics, 8 out of 8 of the sprinters in the finals of the men's 100 meter dash were black.

And this has in fact been the case dating all the way back to 1984: 64 out of 64 finalists have been black.

In this country, the racism is even more egregious: there hasn't been a single white man representing this country in the 4 x 100 relay since 1964.

This is the type of disparate impact which should not be tolerated in an enlightened society.

We should have a 4 x 100 sprint relay which looks like America -- with at least two white members. This is not a quota, of course, merely a guideline.

Ameliorating institutional racism must start at the grass roots level. Slow white children from the suburbs should be put on remedial Head Start exercise programs starting at age four. And white children should be encouraged to attend federally funded summer running camps.

After an initial grace period of five years, any public school at which whites don't hold a proportional share of the school sprinting records will have its federal funding cut off. We will call this program No Runner Left Behind.

Much of the difference in performance stems from coach expectation. Coaches rarely encourage whites to go into the sprints on the mistaken assumption that they are less talented than blacks. This sort of subtle discouragement can have drastic effects on the psyche of a young athlete. Every coach must attend an indoctrination session to rid them of these erroneous racist beliefs.

We must also explore the role of other factors in the racial divide, such as prenatal nutrition, the home environment, self esteem issues, and intimidation at meets. All of these have subtly corrosive effects which must be counteracted.

And we must change a culture among young whites where running fast is considered "acting black" and looked down upon.

Perhaps it's time to even reconsider the primacy of the stopwatch when it comes to judging runners. Perhaps we should consider stopping such a discriminatory practice and start looking at the runner holistically, as an entire person.

Just think of how much more competitive we will be internationally once we achieve the benefits of diversity. (Watch out Jamaica!)

Anyone who questions whether all this is a good use of resources, and who doubts that even with more training whites will perform up to the level of the top black sprinters, should be sent to a sensitivity training seminar. Hate speech like that must be eradicated.

After all, Hitler talked like that.

Should anybody point out that blacks have a superior genetic predisposition to sprinting, with their proportionately long legs, their narrower hips, their fast twitch muscle fiber, and their higher testosterone levels, he will be branded a racist. He should be ostracized, driven from public life, held up to ridicule, and if possible, fired from his job.

A tolerant society has no room for racial supremacists.