I saw this on Pinterest and it rings true to a point of severe annoyance:
"People won't remember all the times you helped them, but they'll never forget the one time you don't."
I don't know who said it and it's loosely paraphrased I suppose but it encapsulates a lesson I'm still learning about my need to "rescue" people. Why is it that when I help and help and help (ad nauseam) someone in both small ways and with the really HUGE stuff, it always goes due South at whatever point I pull back...even a little??
The latest lesson I'm learning is from a college student who in all likelihood will be academically dismissed at the end of this semester, especially at the rate they're going.
We had a deal though. I thought it was clear and reasonable: you make good grades, work hard, and take school seriously and we'll help you. After two consecutive semesters of constant partying, indignant alcohol consumption and utterly dismal grades, isn't it safe to say their end of the bargain wasn't honored?
So I've throttled back. Significantly and with ample warning but now I'm the bitch who "does nothing" to assist. Makes sense.
Don't worry, we'll keep paying for your cell phone and I'll continue to send you grocery gift cards when I can. No. Don't count that as helping, really. Just keep telling everyone how you're "on your own." And when you get kicked out of school in December, you can commemorate it with another tattoo. Classy.
It sucks to see potential in someone and have reasonable expectations for them. It sucks too to see someone idolize and emulate low-achieving losers and find pride and fulfillment in how fast they can complete a keg stand two nights in a row. Did I mention classy?
This is "enabler" signing off.