Fashion Week II

Just got an email from a friend telling me, essentially, that criticizing Fashion Week was too easy.

He completely misinterpreted that post. I admire the designers for the eminent practicality of their creations.

Allow me to illustrate with a few more examples from the Paris spring show:

Tired of the herbivores nibbling at your "buds"? This Gareth Pugh deer fence is a perfectly sensible way to keep them out of your "garden."

What better way to celebrate feminism than ironically with this Fatima Lopes droopy drawers neo-harem girl outfit?

Why be like all the other mechanics? Wow 'em down at the auto body shop with this slinky little Haider Ackermann silk number!

Afghan ladies: tired of your dreary old burkha? Try this updated Haider Ackermann version -- it's Taliban-approved!

These fashions aren't just for the idle rich -- they're for businesswomen too! This Hussein Chalayan suit will look right at home in any boardroom!

Whether you're strutting the catwalk or strutting Eighth Avenue looking for customers, those fishnet stockings can get awfully clingy! Why not try a Hakaan fishnet dress instead?

Had Indira Gandhi only had the self-confidence to get a Princess Leia hairdo, stretch her earlobes, and sport a few tats, she could have looked as John Paul Gaulthier envisioned her. Ah.....what might have been!

Boyfriend cold-hearted? Win his sympathy by saying a bird just smashed into your head because it mistook your jacket for a scallop.

Child molesters your thing? Let Louis Vuitton show you how to attract them in this sparkly number!

Having a hard time holding people's attention? This I-forgot-to-put-my-shirt-on look by Nina Ricci should even hold the eye of the ADD crowd!