Position available

As per yesterday's headlines, a job vacancy has opened up.

Pay:

Three million dollars a year.

Requirements:

1. Must sign iron-clad pre-nup.

2. Must pretend to be overjoyed to be in company of husband whenever photographers are present.

3. Must agree to be artificially inseminated with husband's sperm and bear his child.

4. Must be willing to adopt African babies in order to pose as enlightened liberal.

4. Must sign contract stating that if let slip any word of husband's homosexuality during or after marriage, all pay accrued during marriage will revert to husband.

5. Must regularly attend Scientology brainwashing sessions.