"The 50+ Hottest Women Currently in Prison"

A friend sent this link which is a website for female prison inmates who want to correspond with men on the outside.

I think he sent it in the spirit of, "Check out these babes, can you imagine how horny they must be all caged up?" 

My reaction was a little different. All I could think as I looked at the pictures was how much trouble these women must be.

A few of the pictures with their captions (my thoughts in italics):

Maeghan Rice

Reason for Incarceration: Second-degree murder

"I got involved with the wrong guy at a young age and I am paying the price, now I want to find the right guy."

She got involved with the wrong guy, so had to kill him? Second-degree murder is not premeditated, but it's not exactly manslaughter either. (I Googled Maeghan: she got her boyfriend to kill her ex-boyfriend.)

How desperate would you have to be to knowingly get together with a murderess? What assurance would you have that she wouldn't consider you "the wrong guy" after a while?

The really weird thing is, Maeghan looks like about half of my daughter's high school friends (except that she dresses more demurely).

Jessica McKay

Reason for incarceration: Vehicular homicide, DUI

"I always have a smile on my face with a bubbly personality."

......As long as she has some bubbly, evidently.

Andrea McCormick

Reason for Incarceration: Burglary

"I am hoping to meet that very special and charming someone who is generous, compassionate, caring, and nonjudgmental."

Why does it always seem that people who request those qualities 
never possess them themselves? 

Stacey Solberg

Reason for incarceration: Aggravated Assault

"I am losing my sense of humor. Looking for a fun person with a uplifting personality that can bring my light during dark times."

Aggravated assault? Oops -- too late: she's already lost her sense of humor.

Amy Simpson

"I like tall men with tattoos, but I don't discriminate either."

Translation: "Wimps need not apply."

Sherree Cheng

"I have many interests both appropriate and unmentionable."

Translation: "I give you happy ending."

Amy Doyle

"I am kind, honest, and have a great personality. I'm looking for long term friendships, possibly more."

Funny, she looks neither kind nor honest, though she is built for short term fun.

Kataya Kitzman

Reason for Incarceration: Murder

"I’m a very journalistic person. I enjoy growing a personal bond through correspondence. I love to be presentable at all times. Impressions are everlasting."

Sorry, Kataya, impressions are not everlasting; murder, however, is.

Melanie Stewart

Reason for incarceration: Felony Hit and Run, Assault, Robbery

"I'm a good girl who got caught the only time I did anything wrong, and the book was thrown at me."

Sounds more like the only three times she did anything wrong.

And those sure aren't "good girl" crimes.