Manipulating Jaymie

This was round one of manipulating Jaymie.  As the following year rolled on, I turned this endeavour into an Olympic Sport.  For newbies to infidelity mayhem, please don't try this at home.

I was compelled to know all I could about the emails.  More than that, I was obligated.  Obligated from the deepest part of my soul. Time to analyze all I had learned from my wayward husband the previous night.  I sure wasn't gonna get info from the stripper in Vegas.  I did know how to find our mutual "friend" on Facebook, but that was old news.  The woman from work, she was long gone.  Didn't even give a rat's ass about her.  Jaymie was fresh meat.  She could feed my deep rooted compulsion for information.  It was imperative that I know what hole in my husband necessitated his need to cheat.

What to do?  What to do?  I figured Jaymie was probably not too bright.  I mean, she fell in love with a married man she could have called Grandpa in another life.  I was confident in my ability to manipulate her into getting what I ached for....the emails.  Googled her.  It's amazing what info you can get on the web for $1.95.

Found her home phone and address.  The home phone was a calculated safe bet because I didn't think calling her cell would work out for me.  Why would she answer a call from me?  She'd answer straight away if she thought her parents might pick up instead.  Oh, yea....great call, literally and figuratively.

Her dad answered and before I could ask for her she picked up and said, "I got it, Dad."  Perfect.  Time for a chat with a purpose.  The plan was to get her to trust me.  Not too tough.  She trusted Richard and he obviously had a forked tongue.  He's a lawyer, for goodness sake.
The call went something like this:

"Hi, Jaymie.  It's Shawn.  I want you to know, I don't blame you.  Last night Richard admitted to me that he did love love you.  You were right.  He only told me the truth because I found the emails you exchanged on his computer.  Before I could read them thoroughly, he deleted them.  I was hoping you still had them."

She was hesitant at first, but after I spread a little more bullshit around, she warmed up.  Told her we could really take Richard by the balls.  He screwed us both. (again, literally and figuratively) It was time to join forces and compare notes.  She actually laughed.

I don't think it took more than 10 minutes for Jaymie to be lapping up every distorted word I spewed.  It was as easy as first grade math for a physicist.
Best part...you're gonna love this.  Timing truly is everything.  As Jaymie was close to becoming my BFF, Richard called on my cell.  I worked him right into the master plan.  Told Jaymie to hold on and listen up.

"Hi, Honey.  Guess who I'm talking to on the other line??  JAYMIE!  Say hi Jaymie!  Put both phones on speaker.  This was getting so damn good!  Jaymie was still laughing and I'm pretty sure Richard needed a change of undies.  "Jaymie is going to help me get the emails you deleted.  We think it's time to face the truth about what you did to both of us.  Get it all out in the open."

He didn't say much.  Confrontation is not his thing, so he probably made a joke.  Who cares what he said??  I was getting what I wanted!  The emails would be sent to me within the day.

I'd like to thank the Academy for this award.
Come on!!  I totally deserved an Oscar for this!