I'm just writing to let you know what a huge error you made in not putting me on the starting five at Punahou. You never considered me varsity material, but guess what? I now play basketball with NBA stars.
You may not believe me, but I regularly have top NBA players like Joaquim Noah and Carmelo Anthony over to my crib. And every time they visit, we have a pickup game. The last time those guys were here, I scored 28 points on them in a 3 on 3 match.
I know what you're thinking, that they're just letting me score on them because I'm President. Well, that's what I thought at first, too. But I've asked them about that any number of times, and every single time they've sworn it's not the case.
Just the other day Lebron told me I guard him better than some of the guys in the NBA. That's Lebron James, as in the Lebron!
I feel strongly that I could have been another Jeremy Lin, if only you hadn't held me back. You've probably been following the Lin story. Well, he had the same problem that I had: coaches who didn't realize his potential, who didn't realize what leadership he could show as a point guard. But eventually he got a coach who was smart, who saw his potential. I never did.
I don't think I need to tell you the kind of leadership I've shown elsewhere. It's high time you admitted you screwed up. That's all I want to hear, for you admit that you should have started me. I never got enough playing time.
You just never gave me a chance. If only you had, I could have gotten a basketball scholarship to college and then gone on to a career in the NBA.
It still makes me furious to think that you made me a bench warmer. Coach McLachlin, I play with NBA stars now!
Just a little word of warning. I have power, you know. And if I don't think someone is doing their job wright, I can do something about it. I fired the President of General Motors. I can fire basketball coaches too. Bear that in mind.
44th President of the United States