You suck. How could you NOT notice you were like three feet over your right-side parking space line? Just so you know, I couldn't even get to my drivers side door, much less open it up.
Did I mention you suck?
After I loaded my groceries into the back of my perfectly parked SUV I stomped around both our cars for a good five minutes or so, just daring you to come out. Finally I reached in my glove box, from the passenger side, to retrieve a leftover Valentine card. However, a love note I did not proceed to write.
After I rammed your Valentine underneath your driver's side windshield wiper blade, I went back around my car and began the very arduous process of ungracefully crawling over the center console into the driver's seat. Seriously, you really suck.
I sincerely hope you enjoyed my little note and perhaps even take its advice.
And as an after thought following a brief cooling-off period, I no longer "hope you lose a limb." That's just mean, but you still SUCK!